What are some funny and smart quotes?

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

How do so-called Religious/Christian people really think homosexuality is even a sin? That would be nonsense. In fact, LGBT people need love instead of contempt/hatred. The word Homosexual didn't appear until the 1850s.

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

How do you find out who your handler is as a targeted individual?

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

AI Cracks Mars Mystery: 500,000 Streaks Solved Without a Drop of Water - SciTechDaily

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.